It's been too long...

WHY has it been too long? because my stupid sucky life has been full of nothing but student teaching worries and concerns. its so hard, i wake up each day going, "WHAT am i doing here? WHY am I continuing to go to school every day when I could be done with it forever in just a few months?"
The hardest part about teaching... for me... is that I no longer ever have the luxury of waking up and not wanting to be around people. Up until now, if I woke up in the morning and felt un-social... i could disappear for the day... or just be a silent jerk to everyone. but when YOU are the teacher, skipping isn't an option. Being a silent jerk isn't either. if I want to get anything out of my students, it takes a maximum amount of effort, energy, and enthusiasm on my part. i have to care and i have to care over and over and over as each new class files into the room. six times i teach the same lesson each day and six times i'm required to be energetic yet firm and professional and infinitely understanding of the various situations that I'm presented with. oh yeah, and then creative. you're supposed to fill out paperwork, online assignments, HUFEOS forms, lesson reflections, and loads more and then have time and energy left over to be creative as you plan for the classes you're going to teach. (and in my special circumstances, all of this is supposed to be done as much as possible in the "target language" with minimal English, so... act it out, play charades, explain it in different spanish words... anything but translate.) The most typical student response is- at best- a blank stare, but more commonly- a rude remark and refusal to work until i say it in english.
I find this to be next to impossible. So much so that i find myself DAILY deciding that this is not what i want to do anymore. I almost dont care what I do anymore, just so long as its not this.
This is what everyone who hasn't talked to me in awhile wants to hear about apparently. Case and point- ANY family I saw over spring sing weekend wanted to know, "How is student teaching?" Do these people WANT to become depressed? Why is this what people want me to talk about? I don't want to talk about it or even think about it. I want to survive until graduation and then be a natural foods store worker, or a model... or a farmer.