I am SO     WOUND     UP.

Its hard for me to even process how today is going, and yet I can't move onto think about other things because everything about today is just so crazy.

The recruiter at our office basically will not be coming in any more.  I knew she was on the way out, but from what I can tell... She's gone.  No replacement yet.  

Meanwhile, things that she's supposed to take care of throughout the day are falling into my lap (usually about five minutes before they MUST be done.)  

Which makes me frazzled.

Frazzled isn't the best way to walk into a meeting you've scheduled with your boss, with the intention of opening up some communication about if/how he intends to expand your job role.  My last attempt at this, as you recall, was disastrous.  And so my aproach this time was to have a scheduled time, and a "goal-oriented" discussion.  Not bring up money.  Just ask what his goals are for me and get more information about the coming months.

Bah!   I think he could tell I was nervous... He made a comment about how "I wouldn't be so scared of him if we got to know each other better."  At that point I responded that when he told me "You're overpaid" at our last meeting... it definitely made him scarier in my mind, and it was a big blow to my confidence.  (I'm embarrassed to say it but this was also the point at which I teared up... I was just SO frazzled and emotional.)  He apologized profusely for how that had come across, and went on to say that if the tables had been turned, something like that would have really hurt him as well.  And that he meant to communicate that he's willing to pay me more than other agencies would because I am worth that to him.  Huge releif to hear that.

And... once I got my emotions in check I began to feel like the meeting was going well and we were on the same page somewhat.

Still, my mind wont move out of "instant replay" mode.  And its the "instant replay" mode where everything is sped up so that the voices sound like chipmunks.  I need to go relax in a hot tub somewhere.  I need Thanksgiving Break.  STAT.

Lovingly yours,

ME-me-me-me-me-me-me-me