One Week Report!

Hi everyone!

Surgery day has come and gone.  For the two days prior to surgery, I completely lost my appetite!  (SO unlike me.)  None of my favorite foods tasted good, it was the weirdest thing!

On the actual day, my dad and I went to the hospital together and my Aunt MaryLee took care of Elsa.  I felt like my nerves were finally calm after being nervous all week!  Probably just because the day was finally here and I didn't have to wait for it anymore.  They had to take blood from me and put an IV in me and I was nervous about those things, because I hate needles.  But once those were done, I had nothing to be nervous about anymore!  I don't remember anything that happened after they pushed the Versed into my IV.

Dr. Abraham and Dr. Bauer both said the surgery had gone well!  Dr. Abraham had to move a little slowly during her part because of my thin-skin problem.  But it all went great and all my tissue was sent to the lab and came back totally benign.  Yay!  Dr. Bauer then came in for his part and inserted my tissue expanders underneath my pectoral muscle.  He also used a piece of donor tissue to improve the contour of the underside of each reconstructed breast.

The next thing I remembered was Chris's voice in the recovery room telling me to wake up.  A few family members and friends were in there to see me and I had lots of bandages and things around my chest so I couldn't really see what that looked like.  I could barely feel any pain... just a little pressure in my sternum.  I felt great!

They got me hooked up to a morphine drip and I was introduced to my night nurse, Roy.  It wasn't til a few hours later (when the anesthesia started to wear off) that I started to feel an intense ache.  It felt like it was deep inside my chest and radiating outward through my whole rib cage.  I was able to press a button when I needed more morphine... but the problems came when I fell asleep for the night.  After two hours of sleeping and not pressing my button, I woke up and my whole body was shuddering from shooting pains.  We had to call the nurse in for a quick 5 ml dose of the morphine to help with the sudden onset of pain.  After that scare, I asked him to come in and wake me up every hour for the rest of the night so I could monitor my pain a little better and not let that happen again.  I was really glad my dad was there with me because I couldn't do much of anything for myself.  Couldn't lower myself onto my bed alone... couldn't really lift anything (everything felt so heavy, even a water cup!)... couldn't adjust my pillows... couldn't brush my teeth... couldn't pull up my own underwear after going to the bathroom.  I felt like a baby.  He took really good care of me :)

The morning after surgery they transitioned me off the morphine drip and onto a Percoset pill so I could go home.  Unfortunately over the next few days, that Percoset didn't seem to manage my pain too well.  It would take 30-40 minutes to kick in, then I'd feel relief for about an hour, and then I'd be moaning/crying for the 2 hours I had to wait until my next dose.  That was not fun.  It was also VERY uncomfortable to try and find a sleeping position at our house.  We had to drag all the couch cushions into our room so I could basically sleep sitting up.  I really wished I could just go back to the hospital.  On the good side, people have been here taking care of me and taking care of Elsa 24/7 and I've loved every minute of that!  So has Elsa :)

I feel like I turned a major corner pain-wise this past Monday.  That was the day Dr. Bauer said it would be ok for me to start taking Ibuprofen in addition to the pain meds, and that has made a big difference for me.  I still have to sit or lie down for most of the day.  I still feel my chest begin to ache and throb when it's been a few hours since my last pain pill.  But it's not as bad as before.

I went in for a follow-up appointment this morning and I was hoping Dr. Bauer would say I could have at least one set of drains removed.  (I have these drains coming out of both sides of my chest to relieve swelling and reduce the risk of infection.)  They are rather annoying because the spots where they enter my skin kinda sting... and you can't get them wet so I can't shower.  But sadly, I am still putting off quite a bit of drainage fluid even though it's been a week since surgery, so Dr. Bauer doesn't feel good about removing any drains yet.  This is not abnormal, it's just the way my body is healing.  He said that if my drainage reduces by Friday, I can call and get two of them taken out then.  If not... I'll wait til my next appointment a week from today.

How do I feel?  Like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders!  (Both figuratively... AND literally. Haha!)  It feels like I've been given peace of mind and victory over breast cancer in a single morning!  Like it happened all in the blink of an eye!  I feel empowered... not sad.  I don't feel the loss of my breasts... I feel like I've gained freedom!   Maybe that's hard for some people to understand, I don't know.  But the way I look at it, I was given valuable information.  I have a gene mutation that could've robbed me of a lifetime of joy with my family.  And instead, because of the path I've chosen... I cannot get breast cancer!  I have no breasts to get it in!  Hallelujah!

So many people have been writing/calling/texting to ask how I am doing, and I'm so happy to be able to give this report.  I am doing GREAT.  Yes, I am in pain.  Yes, I now have two scars where my nipples used to be.  Yes, I am lugging around these annoying drains for a few days longer than I had hoped would be the case.  But I AIN'T NEVA GONNA GET BREAST CANCER!

Thank you Lord.

And thank you everyone who has thought of me and prayed for me during this time.  You have absolutely moved me to tears many times over.

Lots of love,
Carissa