Though we are not totally surprised, we are still pretty shocked... for me to have gotten pregnant at all this month is a bit unbelievable (I only barely got the "green light" from my surgeon a few weeks ago.) And then for my body to have actually allowed it in the midst of such strain and stress with Dad being diagnosed with cancer and dying barely two weeks later... In fact, as I write this, I am preparing to leave town tonight for his Memorial Service. It is all too unreal for words. My mind cannot comprehend the simultaneous pain and joy.
I can only go back again and again to the knowledge that I rest in the sovereignty of a loving and gracious God. My dad's cancer was not hidden from Him. The brokenness I've recently discovered in my family was not concealed from Him all this time. Neither was this baby that now grows inside me. God knew it all and has great plans for all of it... for me, for my children, for His glory.
I do feel that so many things have been ripped away from me this year. It is staggering. But God has shown himself present every single step of the way. He is with me, He goes before me, He hems me in behind. And as my Dad said in a text to me over the summer when I first got the news of my infection after surgery, "Trust me hon... God is in control, and you would want it no other way."
So get ready, world! Looks like another Casey baby is coming your way. I don't think any of us are prepared for the cuteness.
From Tuesday, January 28th (2:58pm): I took another pregnancy test yesterday and it was more positive than the first. So I think it's safe to say Baby Sweets 2 is officially in there! We've already told our siblings and Chris's parents, plus my friend Beth, and a girlfriend I went to coffee with yesterday because I couldn't help it! We were much more secretive the first time around. This time, my attitude is like, "Why wait to enjoy sharing fun news with others?" Yes, I know they say to wait til the end of the first trimester... and I may wait almost that long to tell the general public, but I'm not too worried about it to be honest.
I called my OB and made an appointment for my 8-week ultrasound (fun!) on February 19th. I also called AR Children's Hospital and went through pre-screening to join The Glowing Study. Have you heard of it? It is a research study conducted on women in their 2nd pregnancies. A friend of mine participated in it and was compensated with a year of free diapers! Woop woop! If you have a Children's Hospital in your area, I highly recommend checking out what research studies they are conducting.
I'm actually a bit nervous that I won't qualify for the study based on my pre-screening questions. In particular, in the section where she asked me about use of alcohol, tobacco, and recreational drugs, she asked, "How much alcohol do you plan to consume during your pregnancy?" I answered, "None during my first trimester, and perhaps the occasional glass of wine after that... like maybe once a month." (I have been told by doctors and friends that moderate alcohol is fine as long as it's after the first trimester, when the majority of brain development is complete.) But then I wigged out later, thinking Probably the answer she was looking for was NO. I feel like a dummy. If that knocks me out of the study, I'll be ticked because I would totally be willing not to drink any alcohol for the whole 40 weeks if they wanted me to. I'm sure they'll never tell me what the reason was if I don't make it through pre-screening. Me and my big mouth.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do a Weekly Bumpdate this time around. I posted weekly pictures on a Facebook album when I was pregnant with Elsa. But since I love reading things like this, I want to journal my own experience for others (and baby later on!) to read.
Weeks: 5!
Baby: Baby Sweets 2 is smaller than an apple seed! His/her heart has formed and is beating!! The brain and spinal cord are also taking shape.
Weight: 135
Maternity clothes? Nope. And I wish I could say the noticeable pooch I'm hauling around is baby-weight, but I'm pretty sure it's just Mama. (I haven't worked out much this year, since recovering from 4 surgeries limited my options so much. Boo to stationary bikes!)
Stretch marks? I managed to steer clear of those last time... but may not be so lucky this go-round. We'll see!
Sleep: Sleeping great and no more tired than usual so far.
Favorite moment of the week: Honoring my Dad at his Memorial Service and hearing all the wonderful words people shared, both during the service and afterward.
Miss anything? My Dad.
Movement: Nope, not yet!
Cravings? Not yet! But I know they're a'coming!
Anything make you queasy or sick? I'm mildly queasy when I wake up, but it isn't bad. Really hoping I won't develop an aversion to coffee and chocolate like I did last time.
Gender: No idea. But I'm predicting girl, based on the date I think I ovulated. (Plus, I think it would be fun for Elsa to have a friend!)
Labor signs: Naw, man!
Symptoms: Just some slight cramps.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood: Normal
Looking forward to: My 8-week ultrasound on February 19th. And spending some time in Searcy with my siblings, in-laws, and some friends while Chris goes to Panama for a medical mission trip. (But I'm really going to miss him, and I'm worried he'll get malaria, or worse! Prayers, please.)
Freak-out moment of the week: Finding out we are pregnant! According to my calculations, we literally conceived the first time we withdrew all birth control measures this month. Not only that, but we found out we were pregnant just two days after my Dad died. Such a whirlwind of emotions. I think we are still in shock.
Thankful for: A God who never releases his hold in his children. A God who is good, gracious, and fully trustworthy.
1 comment:
So so excited for you all. Praying for you during these next 7 months. See if you can work in more naps with Elsa! Love you, Linda
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