If You're Happy and you know it.... TELL ME how you got that way. I meant it... comment and tell me.

I think I am an eternal disappointment... to myself.
My attitute with regard to other people seems to be, "This is me, what you see is what you get. Deal with it." But when it comes to asking myself to deal with it, I still haven't figured that out.
I drive myself crazy. I don't understand why I feel so unsatisfied with life, or why nothing I do is good enough for me. But I think that I am seriously... actually... moreso than what is normal-ly screwed up.
And I'm even annoyed by the fact that I keep talking about this on here! I can just hear what my response would be to someone else acting like me. "Think of someone else for a change! Serve someone else and you won't be so focused inward. Spend some time with God and be reminded of where your value really comes from." On and on. But the other things I'm telling myself are so much louder.
What's on my mind is always the same these days. Why can't I change... why can't I do better? Why am I not happier? Why am I not more motivated? What do I want out of life? Why can't I change? Why can't I do better... consistently? Will I ever really get out of the habits I hate? Why am I not what I wish I were...?
I think I genuinely hope that no one's reading this tonight. If I can't even put up with my thoughts right now, I can't imagine the person out there who can. But if you are reading this, then good night to you.