So my thoughts tonight are this:
WHY didn't i know that perfect strangers can get on and read my blog?!! I mean, I guess i knew that everyone had ACCESS to it, but i figured why does anyone want to read the blog of someone they dont even know? How would they even find that person's blog? Is there some search engine that you can just rifle through at your leisure and read whatever looks interesting? I had no idea.
Oh well. I suppose it's similar to what I did all those times I read Natalie's blog. But not really. I went to school with her. We weren't great friends, but i liked reading her take on each day at school because we were in many of the same classes and she always had a very funny spin on the things that had happened. i dont see how i'd find any appeal in reading the thoughts of someone who had no connection to my life.
Enough about that... I guess I just know now. Perfect strangers can read my blog. Duly noted. Moving on.
I got Easton to look like Easton in my drawing last night. That was good. And today was a LOVELY day of relaxing with the family (ok, familIES... I count the Barnes) by their pool. I burnt the top of my butt a little bit. You gotta be careful with that, ya know? Because its whiter than the other skin and if any of it peeks out it gets burnt. Not that my butt was peeking out. But the top of it was... ANYWAY...
I hope this week passes fast and thursday comes quick. we leave that afternoon for st. louis and fly out of there for cancun the next day. i've got houses to clean, kids to babysit and drawings to work on. oh and im really really hoping for a good, solid week with good ol' food. there's nothing worse than feeling rotten as you head off on vacation because you've had a crappy week of overeating. Believe me, I know. And tonight (as I sometimes can) I could feel it coming on. The urge to overeat. I tried telling myself, "Nooo.... you don't want to overeat. You want to ENJOY tonight. You want to feel GOOD when you wake up tomorrow... like you deserve to eat breakfast. (Sometimes I dont.) You want to feel great on your way to and in Cancun." But despite all that I just felt so pulled to overweat. The night turned out... okay. I went to Justin's graduation party and started out moderate. Then just kept going back and back to the desserts. I managed to pull back well enough though (meaning that I came home and didn't give the night up for lost and keep pigging out)... so I suppose I'm thankful for that. Just taking this "quest for freedom" thing one step at a time. The night wasn't disastrous. Just unnerving.
Most of my friends and family know how much of a battle eating is for me. which is why when my dad saw me chowing down on my third plate of dessert, he gave me this look and said, "Maybe you better slow down on that." It's so hard to hear something like that. Because I know EXACTLY what I'm doing... I'm choosing to overindulge. It's not a REMINDER I need... someone to call my attention to the fact that I'm losing control. I'm VERY aware of it. So what should he have done? I have no idea. But it made me feel like crap.
Ok, that's all I've got for tonight. And btw, if you are a perfect stranger reading this... please comment and enlighten me as to why on earth you've chosen to spend your time reading the blog of a perfect stranger. i'd like to know.