Ok, today has been both ultra-satisfying and depressing. On the ultra-satisfying hand, I just got back from the Pi Theta Phi meeting and it was probably my most favorite meeting I've ever been to. I felt like I got to catch up and reunite with everyone I wanted to but it didn't sap me of my energy. We also had a triple ring ceremony, and I highly approve of each of the new engagements. (That's really saying something for me.) Also ultra-satisfying was getting to lead a devo alongside Brittany. (We're co-directors for spiritual life this semester.) We were roommates freshman year and very close friends, but the year ended with a huge conflict that involved a LOT of hurt. And over the past few years we've had to really work to renew our friendship and invite God in to bring healing. We just sort of spent tonight sharing that testimony of his power to renew and rebuild as it has shown itself in our lives as friends. We're both stronger individuals and better friends because our conflict taught us about extending grace to others and graciously accepting it. It was very encouraging to me personally to share... and many girls told me afterwards that it was for them as well.
As for the UN-encouraging parts of the day... classes went fine... great even. I got back in the late afternoon and decided that I had no desire to leave my room due to the heat. (My recent aversion to working-out also includes a general aversion to sweating period.) Unfortunately, the decision to stay in until the 9 o'clock meeting also brought (by default) the decision to park it in front of the TV and watch two full discs of Laguna Beach and eat a sleeve of Chips Ahoy, two bowls of cereal, three bags of popcorn, and lord-knows-what else. Now, how depressing is that? At the time it seemed like a good idea but now I'm paying for it with a stomach-ache an guilty conscience. Even if the food hadn't been in the equation, you just feel like a shallower person after watching an episode of Laguna Beach. It turns you dummer.
Sooooo.... how can I avoid having this feeling again? I try to do this each time I go to bed feeling guilty. I ask myself what brought on this specific episode of behaving in a way I later regret. Today I think it would have been better to have something to keep my busy this afternoon. Giving myself permission to be lazy led me to give myself permission to completely pig out and so I need to remember that for the future.
It seems dumb to be this analytical about it, but its all I can think of to do.
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