I had a payday today... yessss!!!! A hundred and fifteen smacks! Haha, that doesn't sounds like a lot of money, and I guess it really isn't, but it sure feels like a lot to me.
I'm sort of mentally torn right now. I've had a really emotional morning, and I'd LOVE to just sit and blog away about all the possible causes and the underlying aspects of it, and ultimately (as I always end up doing) the reasons why this particular issue confirms that I am psychotic. Unfortunately, I feel as though my blog is not a good place to do that. How depressing! I always said I'd say whatever i wanted on my blog, but I think this is a particular instance where its just not ok to do that. I hate it. But too many people who know the people involved in my emotional struggle right now read this stupid thing. I guess I'll just write what I can.
This is nothing I've written about before... it doesn't involve food or any of the people I've alluded to in my past ponderings. It involves a situation that I think brings out the ugliest parts of me... although no one sees these ugli-ness-es because they are manifested in my thoughts. It's the worst. The hardest thing to do is take your thoughts captive! Because one moment, you're taking communion, the next moment (and you don't even know when it happened) your mind has wondered to something else entirely! I don't know what else to say... except that I really hate feeling like I can't say what I want on my own blog. But I'm really just drawing a blank here.
There'll be like fifty million people at our house tonight for a devotional. I wish I didn't have to go, but obviously, as its at my home, I'll be there.