The saga of Patrick McStemboy continues... I returned from Kelli's lecturship today to find yet another note in Patrick's spot on the microwave. His kidnappers want me to show up at the lilly pond tomorrow in full costume (I'm not disclosing the time, i dont want audiences)... where i'm expected to do an interpretive dance around said pond three times FOR A VIDEO CAMERA (operated by "an unknown.")
Not only THAT... but who do you suppose I recieved a Facebook friend request from yesterday? You guessed it. Patrick. His kidnappers have given him a profile page complete with a Facebook album chock full of pictures of people mutilating him in various ways. One picture shows him being shoved into a 550 degree oven, another shows him getting hit with a baseball bat. Still another shows him sitting on a table while some unknown hand brandishes a knife at his temple. Another one shows him sitting on a chair, while a bluejean-clad butt is about to sit on him. There's also one of him being dropped into a trash can.
I have studied these pictures thoroughly, combing them for clues as to his whereabouts. I've examined the nails of the hands holding the knife... zoomed in on the furniture in the room... analyzed the size, shape, and general firmness of the butt that this about to sit on him.
I see no solution other than to cave to their ridiculous request and perform this dance.
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