lazy sunday and more

this has been a very interesting weekend.
my camping trip on friday was fun. and cold. and with a pretty random group of people, which is always enjoyable. its easy to get into ruts and see the same people over and over, and certainly its also fun to see the people you spend lots of time with... but yeah, its fun to mix it up too.
i saw still another group of friends the following evening, and got to watch a pretty entertaining night unfold as personalities collided non-stop. Issues such as who was paying for who at this birthday dinner out... the issue of people being annoyed about people eating beforehand to save money... people getting annoyed because we were lost and not turning around... people getting annoyed at those getting annoyed... running smack into the concrete flowerbed divider between two streets (honestly dont know how we did that. i was in the back seat and couldnt see.)
And then today. First time in my life I went to bed fully planning not to go to church on a sunday morning for no reason other than that I did not want to. i do not intend to make this a habit... and really it was lots of factors combined that made me decide this. for one thing: i have a new phone and have lost all my old numbers. this means that the girl I had planned on calling and going to church with, i had no way of contacting. for another thing: my car was still sitting in my friend's apartment parking lot from the crazy excursion the night before. Meaning I'd have had to walk. not cool. and i also smelled like campfire smoke, but couldnt bring myself to take my second shower of the day. the consensus was: a lazy sunday.
and indeed it was. i did lots of holiday baking, which ended up being to my detriment because i had intended for these holiday treats to be soully for the enjoyment of my roommates and i ended up pigging out on them later. that's kinda how i am with most things on most days of the week. sweets are for others to enjoy, and for me to prentend like i allow myself to enjoy them too. (in reality, i find that i still only really permit myself to enjoy them on those days where i lose control and go overboard.) im trying to get better about this attitude. less sweets in a sitting, but more often. but its just a really hard mindset to conquer... the "all or nothing" thing.
The truth is: I find healthy eating to be extremely easy for about a week at a time. But about every seven days, i lose it. tonight is almost exactly a week from the last time this happened, thanksgiving weekend. so im doing my best to treat this differently than past times I would have called "failure." For instance, in the past, an eating failure would have brought on a sense of "giving up" and overeating for the rest of the night. But I'm not going to do that. For another thing, the gross-ness I feel when I overeat has always been cause for me to shut myself up and doing something lazy like watch TV in my sweats OR to do something punishing like run five miles. The absolute last thing I want to do after a big pig-out is try to get all prettied up and go out, or hop into a swimsuit and go swimming, or something like that. But I'm about to go tanning. This involves leaving, undressing, lotioning up... all those things I like to avoid when I feel like a fatty.
AYNWAYS... t.m.i. right? Let's move on. The point is: I'm trying to work on thi mindset. starting right now in the midst of this failure.
and on that note, its time to go tanning. hope everyone else has as a good a weekend as me :)