ponderings i guess.

What a week its been already!
Each time I get home and start getting re-integrated into all the family's ways, and re-informed about all the family's current "issues" it can be a little crazy.
We're currently dealing with a new boy in my sister's life, which is truly a family issue, believe me. I bypassed all that akwardness of trying to get a dad and brother to approve of some guy, because I opted not to date any of the boys at my highschool and started that whole thing more in college. Now, I can't imagine trying to navegate the waters that my sister is swimming in.
Every time she's on the phone with a guy... "Who are you talking to?" "How long have you been on the phone?" "Do you know how late it is?" If she wants to go hang out with this (or any guy) its, "But I thought you guys weren't dating?" "Why on Earth would you need to go out to ice cream?" Stuff like that. Soooo frustrating.
Other than that... I'm doing TONS of cooking. I've accepted the impossibility of trying make my dad understand why I need certain (rather expensive) ingredients such as fresh rosemary or wild mushrooms and have just started buying these things on my own. While I don't like doing this because of my money issues... I've just decided that I dont care. I want to make nice food. I want to do that during the holidays, and when I'm at home I have a kitchen to do it in and events to bring the food to.
I'm also working here and there as a sub for some elementary classrooms. This too, has been interesting.
More and more as I grow older, I'm struck by the fact that life is not a series of problems and solutions... especially when it comes to the ones you love... especially with family. Some disagreements, old resentments, "issues" take years to overcome. Sometimes, overcoming them really just means getting to the point where you live with them. And some things are just so big that you never really get over them. I've started to realize that parents and older siblings and mentors spend all this time trying to protect the ones they love. We all don't want each other to make the same "screw ups" that we have. And sometimes, we succeed in protecting those we love from screwing up like we have. But MOST of the time, people have to screw up on their own before they can learn. And what do you do when the people you love make mistakes? You try to remember that you made those same mistakes, and that grace calls you to just keep loving. But its just not easy, is it? Having family... choosing to live out love every day... how did Jesus do it?
Anyway, i just heard the garage door open. So... gotta go!