sans-title today

I just read the latest blog entry of one of my dear friends, and it made me miss my blog. Funny to think now, but its been forever since I pulled up the page of my old friend from high school (the girl I was never actually friends with, but I loved hearing her thoughts expressed in her funny little blog style.) She was the one who made me want a blog. Maybe I'll pull her page up after this and see how she's doing.
Anyway, in the past few days there's been lots going on. I meant to get on here Thursday and write about subbing as a teacher's aide for a little blind girl at the elementary school. I meant to write about how truly inspiring it was and how I saw God so many times that day... and now I feel like its too far after the fact and I couldn't do the experience justice.
So instead I'll tell you that my sister and I have spent a bit of time before bed for the past three nights watching the movie "She's the Man" with the actors' commentary in the background. I don't do this as a rule. But this movie is one of our favorites, and at this point we've seen it so many times, we needed something different. And as is the custom every time I watch it, I was reminded of how very much I am in love with Channing Tatum and how very much I wish that he-- and his jawline, and his juicy lower lip, and his beautiful sweatpants-clad booty--- were actually in my life on a regular basis. Whoops... tangent. Anyway, this movie commentary is hilarious if you've never seen it. We enjoyed it very much.
Additionally, I believe that the watching of this movie commentary is partially to blame for the dream I had last night. In this dream I was having a baby. This is not uncommon for me at all. I always dream I am having a baby, and there is never a father in the picture. Sometimes the absence of a father is a very stressful factor for me... other times I'm just stressed that the world will think I've had sex out of wedlock when I know I haven't. This time though, none of that was stressful. But I didn't want to have the baby. More specifically I was embarrassed because I needed to deliver this baby, but instead of being in a hospital, I was at a sort of beach resort with all my friends. And Channing Tatum was among those friends. And I knew I needed to deilver this baby, but didn't exactly want to make a big scene or whatever... I don't know. But I could tell the baby was on its way so I grabbed my friends and told them what was up and they took me to one of the hotel rooms. That's right. I find myself in a hotel room with pizza boxes and soda cans strewn on the carpet and about six of my "friends" (Channing Tatum among them) perched at various points in the room (hanging off of top bunk beds, etc.) but all with a direct view of me sitting in the center of the floor. And all waiting for me to just pull down my pants so that we can start this baby-delivery proccess.
It was at this moment that I heard my cell phone ringing. (this is in real life, mind you) I wake up in a TERRIBLE mood because I was just as anxious as I'm sure all of you are to find out what was going to happen next. My mood worsens when the voice I hear on the other end is my father's. He is refusing to tell me the time because he knows he was supposed to let me sleep in. His next question is, "Is there anything I need him to get at the grocery store?" Well, of course there are about thirty things... and I have followed his request of putting them all in list form on the designated "wal-mart list pad of paper." He has not bothered to look at this list, however, and he does not have it with him at the store right now. This means I must get up from bed and walk downstairs and read it to him. I'm still frustrated that I didn't get to find out what would happen with my baby, and I tell him so. And he laughs at me for dreaming that. This just makes me madder.
Anyway, that's that story. It started the day off on a rocky foot, for sure. And since then, I've been pondering the deeper meanings of this dream. Specifically the re-occuring theme of my having a baby with no man in the picture. My personal conclusion is that I have no idea how to have a husband or what use one would be to me. I don't deny that he would be useful, I'm just saying that I don't know how to be married, so my mind can't dream it up.
Any better analyses?