I Did Not Rest Up Over the Weekend

Weekends are for resting... but most of us get back to school on Monday tireder than we were on Friday when we were "SO ready for the weekend."
Don't get me wrong, this was a GOOD weekend. Just not restful. I did get some big things done though, which is good. Still to do: I must be evaluated tomorrow during first period. I spent WAY too much time today trying to prepare that lesson. For some reason I just felt like every idea was crap. I'm still not entirely confident. But I'll just have to fake it... all I need is to survive one more evaluation and that part will be done.
Still need to finish up with the Government online class. That final exam is tomorrow at 4:00 (so as soon as I rush back to Searcy from teaching all day, I'll head to Harding's testing center and attempt to BS a complete essay test having read nothing out of the textbook since the midterm.)
I tried to pray today. It's been awhile, since I've prayed out loud at least. I've been feeling pretty cynical when it comes to my relationship with God lately. I don't like that the answer to life's stresses is: "Turn to him. Cast your cares on him." I see very little change in the cares and stresses when I try and do THAT with them. The essay finals, lesson plans, portfolios, students, and obligations are all still there. And its like I said in that last post... there's very little comfort in hearing my own voice pray about it or speak words of comfort. If God's actually doing something... I want to KNOW its him. I want to hear it from him. I feel his silence right now so heavily.
I also feel my own weakness right now so heavily. I wallow in the fact that the routine has become so wearisome. I overeat and wallow in self-pity about that. I'm ready to be DONE DONE DONE!
But there was a bright spot in my day. A student told me thank you. A student who has made it very clear EVERY day that he thinks I don't do this or that good enough. A student who is never satisfied, EVER. Today he thanked me for making a fair test. I try so hard to make my tests fair. And he noticed. And he thanked me. Oh my goodness.