A Quick Update! (Not so quick now that I've written it.)

I had a brief follow-up with Dr. Abraham this morning.  (Thus far, all post-op appointments have been with Dr. Bauer because the major risks in recovery have to do with the reconstruction... not the mastectomy.)

Anyway, I'm a little over a month out from my surgery and Dr. Abraham was pleased with everything.  She said I'm expanding symmetrically and that my scars appear to be flattening and lightening nicely (a sign that my skin flaps are alive and vascularized, despite her fear that my thin fat layer might not protect my skin well enough.)  So yay for that!

She gave me a copy of the pathology report they did on my tissues and everything was clear (tissue taken from all quadrants + the nipple + the back side near the chest wall + a few lymph nodes.)  So another yay!  We acted before any cancer had the chance to form!!

This past weekend was one of the ROUGHEST of my recovery.  Sunday night I was literally lying on the floor crying and begging Chris to stay home from work the next day.  Granted, it was certainly a contributing factor that Elsa had spent the weekend fighting a fever and I did NOT feel capable of caring for her.  But even without that mess... my body was seizing up on me!  I could barely get out of bed, walk at a normal pace, pick something up off the floor... it was like my muscles were regressing!  Scary!  So I realized (a few weeks too late probably) that the time had come to start getting mean with myself and stretching my super-tight muscles.  I had tight bands of scar tissue extending from my pec muscles up through my armpits that made it excruciating to try and stretch my arm straight upwards.  And that tightening was starting to extend around to my back as well, creating lots of shooting pains any time I bent or twisted in any way.  People were having to pull me out of bed, and it was not pretty.

Thank the Lord I had two sweet angels from church come stay with me and Elsa on Monday.  And then my Aunt MaryLee spent Tuesday with us.  And my constant stretching during those two days really made such a difference!  By Wednesday I was able to pick Elsa up (not gracefully, but we were able to manage.)  And Thursday was better than that... and today was even better!  Today I could hold her on one hip or the other, which used to require more arm strength than I could muster.

I've begun doing my P90X yoga DVDs again to aid myself in stretching my arms and re-strengthening my muscles.  At first I told Chris, "There is no way I'll ever be able to do a push-up again."  And he said, "There are lots of things the body isn't supposed to be able to do, that it does.  Because you demand it to do so."  Inspiring words.  I will demand that my body return to its previous level of strength and condition.  I will not settle for weakness.

It was wonderful to spend the latter half of this week with just me, Elsa, and Chris.  She really is such a sweet, affectionate baby.  And it's a good thing too because mama gives her no other option than to be constantly smothered in kisses.  And daddy's just as bad.  Anyway, it just feels so good to hold her and squeeze her again!

Two complaints:

1) Sneezing hurts SO bad!  That sudden inhale and then the force of the sneeze... OH they kill my chest.  I dread sneezing.  I know it will be better when I have soft implants instead of expanders.  But two more months is a looooong time to dread sneezing.

2) Sleeping.  I hate it.  The expanders make it impossible to lay on my side.  They're kinda wide, so they actually extend around my sides a bit, and putting pressure on them pushes them into the chest wall, into the ribs... into places that are not the least bit comfortable.  And the unfortunate side-effect of sleeping only on my back is that my body settles that way over the long hours of the night and when I get up the next day, my back KILLS.  And I hobble like an old lady til everything loosens back up again.  So yeah.  I also dread sleeping.  Which is really, reeeeally sad because sleep is SO wonderful.

I keep reminding myself, I'd do this all over again... but I'm glad I don't have to!
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